Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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