All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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