My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
