it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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