You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
