you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
