peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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