Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
