I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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