I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
