what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
