i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
i drank out of a bidet.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
