she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize