theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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