Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Say something about gay babies.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
