in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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