that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
