come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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