So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize