mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
