Dual....:-)
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
