I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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