all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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