I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
