Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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