tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Randomize
