Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
