I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
