our cab driver is having phone sex.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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