I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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