if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
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