Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
