Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
you inspire me to be a worse person
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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