You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Still dying that you shit outside
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
