Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
