...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
