You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Randomize
