she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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