I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
