I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
