Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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