it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
