Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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