I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
