Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
