And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
