there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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