Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Randomize
