Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
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We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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