Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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