the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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