Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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