It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
