i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
