so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
