So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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