Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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