She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
