Swine flu. Run for my life!
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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