New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
