if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
