That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize
