so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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